Sunday 12 October 2008

Sunday 12th October 2008

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyawwwww and NYOM - Sunday 12th October 2008

Today is a very special day, not only did we have many exciting holiday based travel things to be getting on with, it is my birthday. So, in true birthday style, got up, felt like crap, shit, shower and shave and a spot of brekkie. Same as the day before, that lion bar cereal is ace, I must get a packet tomorrow to take home. It has the tendency to be REALLY addictive.

I got two cards, which was great, one was in German and had a picture of a mouse giving a cake to a giraffe. This was from Sean and Laura and the other said 26 ans! on it, this was in French and from Anna. I love her.

We left the house and started to drive. After about an hour and a half of driving through thick fog, we arrived at our first destination. The Nurburgring! It turned lovely and sunny and the car park, overflow field and the surrounding roads were packed with cars. It was nice to see a delegation from the “Pistonheads” forum there. I found it really difficult to get insurance for the trip round the ring. No one in the UK is currently supplying it as far as I can tell. For the money you pay, it is almost worth getting a ‘ring taxi’ as you will get a great drive round the track and there is no risk of you crashing and having to pay out a crap load of money.

I took some photos and got a souvenir sticker for the back of my car.

We then left to go to one of my favourite German cities, Koblenz. The town of Koblenz sits on the confluence of the Rhine and the Mosel rivers. At the join, there is a huge monument to Keiser Wilhelm (the chap that unified Germany in the 1800s). The monument is a stone built ‘temple’ with a giant horse with Keiser Wilhelm riding. The coolest thing about the horse was that, being anatomically correct, it had mahoosive balls. This amazed everyone standing around looking at the thing and taking photos – made me chuckle anyway.

After the monument we went for a spot of lunch. Between us we had Curry-wurst, Bock-wurst and Bratwurst and beer – the four main German food groups.



The rest of the afternoon was walking round Koblenz in the fantastic sunshine, looking at the wonderful architecture. We saw the palace, it was pretty huge, but in true Sweeney style, the thing was covered in scaffold.

We left Koblenz and went to our last destination of the day, this was the quite frankly gorgeous town of Monchau.

Monchau is really lovely. A tiny German town set in a valley, built out of the rock on the sides of a river. We went there last Christmas with Chris and Faith and at that time of year, it is MENTAL because of the Christmas Markets. October is a little different. It is still really cold but a lot less manic. We had a wander round the beautiful medieval town before settling at a riverside restraint for Schnitzel and more meat! NYOM!


Saturday 11 October 2008

Luxemburg, Luxemburg - So great they named it twice - Saturday 11th October 2008

Sean’s alarm woke me up again at about 8am, (LAURA’S ALARM, NUMBNUTS!!!) I think it is the Arctic Monkeys. Its all good though. Got up and had some of the ‘Lion Bar’ cereal. It was totally nummy. (I wanted to mix it with some Smack, but that wasn’t open yet, so I didn’t. I think you should always start your day with Smack.)
The cats were back today, staring in at us expecting food to be delivered and good times to be had. (The cats that you hadn’t mentioned yet? Noob. There are two cats hanging around the cottage which Laura can’t help looking at and thinking that they’re cute, despite the fact that one has clearly been in a fair few fights and seen better days, and the other is a Siamese, which have looked evil to everyone since the first time they saw Lady and the Tramp. Anyway, they’re annoying.) I thought it best to put an end to this before we broke and gave in. I got a small bowl of water and launched the contents at the feline. Direct hit. The cat has not come back since. (Andy’s trying to sound hard – he didn’t want to hit the cat, he wanted to scare it. However, the thing was too stupid to try and move , and so got a little bit wet. Laura was sad.)

Bastogne was the first on our list for the day. A town that was almost completely destroyed during the second world war, it is now a bustling little town. There are loads of bars, restaurants and cafes. (There was also a bear dog. It was massive, ace, and massively ace.)
At the top end of the high street is a lovely church, I think it must have survived the war fairly well as it looked pretty original inside. (Brilliantly, all the churches round here seem to be Catholic, which means that Jebus actually lives in them. That’s nice.)

We went to a little café and had some tea and cake. On the table we had a blackforest gateau, a chocolate and cream cake, apple cake and a raspberry and custard tart. (We shared them all so that we all got a bit of each. They were pretty darned nummy, although a tad pricey – the four bits of cake, with four hot drinks, came to 25€. Also, there is an issue with tea preparation in foreign climes, in that they just don’t understand how it’s done. I got a pot of hot water with a tea bag on the side, meaning that it never properly infused. Still, it was better than no tea. Also, we actually saw a girl carrying a tiny dog in her handbag, totally un-ironically. I didn’t think real people really did that kind of thing, but apparently they do. The dog was cuter than she was though, so maybe it was to draw attention away from her.


On the subject of ladies, the standard of women in Europe is not nearly so high as you have been led to believe. Be warned.

Having finished our elevenses, we took a short stroll down the main street to the cenotaph, which is a beautiful monument. Less attractive is a sculpture imbedded into one of the wall of one of the buildings, depicting some soldiers helping one of their wounded comrades. At first, we thought it was broken, but then we looked closer and realised that, no, that man’s head was meant to be on the floor, and all the other people were meant to look the way they did. It was baffling.)

Moving on from Bastogne we moved on to Luxemburg, Luxemburg (so good they named it twice). (Driving past the football stadium which would, later that day, host the Luxembourg v Israel World Cup Qualifier. It was titchy.)
Luxemburg is a really ace city, I’m sure it would have had beautiful views as well over the valley below the town, but the fog was SO thick. We could make out a shadow of a church on the other side and some huge town houses at the bottom, but not much else.
We had a good look round. One of the things that impressed me greatly was that they city is one giant wifi hot-spot. Wherever you are, you can turn on your mobile of laptop and get an interactive city guide with video and audio commentary, no Facebook though. (This is good if you are a nerd.)
We had a look round the marktplatz, which was nice. There were loads of pretty buildings and we got some souvenirs from one of the many shops pedalling items to the hordes of American tourists, retracing the steps of their fathers and relatives as they defended the area from the German army.

(Luxembourg is really pretty. Parking was strange, as they have bays marked out on the pavement. Essentially, we didn’t really do a great deal, but walk around, but that was all we needed to do. It was enough to soak up the atmosphere, enjoy what is an undeniably attractive city, and search for a birthday card for Andy. Although the only card shop we found had only very lame ones.

We did manage to find a stein for Andy though. He was extremely excited by it, although got yelled at by the woman who told him that a stein is a stone. She was quite strict and not very nice. But we still bought stuff, as we’re extremely pleasant people.

We ended up having a bit of a Chavvy lunch at Quick, a French burger chain. But we told ourselves it was ok as it was a French chain, and therefore part of the local culture. Despite my not actually knowing any French, really, I managed to order and field all the random stream of questions that fell from the assistant’s mouth, mainly by just saying ‘Oui’ to everything. It worked. Laura, on the other hand, who does speak some French, got a bit flustered and the girl talked to her in English. I felt ace.


Outside of quick, we saw a chap doing some ‘Belgian Jumpstyle’ dancing, it was ace, he was dancing to some happy hardcore coming from a beaten up stereo over-modding to hell, but it was great to see.

We got a bit turned around when on our way back to the car, which meant we found some great statues, but eventually got back and set off for Clervaux.)

I’ve been to Clervaux three or four times now and every time it astounds me how beautiful it is. It is greatly understated. It is not a tourist town like Monchau (you will read about this in tomorrow’s blog) and it is still very cute. I think the whole point of the town and its main industry comes from people on a pilgrimage of their relatives in the army and people on walking holidays. It is strange, it is in the middle of nowhere and I cant see how it was of strategic importance but somehow – it was.

(Clervaux is a beautiful little town in the north of Luxembourg, in an area of great strategic importance in World War II, a fact commemorated by a statue donated by American troops to their brave allies in the town of Clervaux; a museum recounting the Ardennes campaign; and a tank and gun mount, both donated, again, by American forces. Quite aside from the town’s strategic importance, it’s clear to see why forces would wish to be stationed there – the area is completely idyllic, surrounded by heavily wooded hills, and with cobbled streets that seem to amble forever.)

Agreed

After looking around the town, and visiting the beautiful old church, we stopped off at one of the many cafes that lined the streets for a little snack of waffles or pancakes and coffees. I, of course, had tea, which was, of course, ridiculous – this time the bag was at least in the cup, but the milk was hot and frothy. Honestly, I ask you…

I would recommend going for crepes, mainly because they are fresh rather than the semi stale waffle I had.

After our break, I finally managed to find a card for Andy, while he bought himself a box of cigars. (And what cigars they are, I got 24 Coronas for 35 euros) We also found some excessively cheap alcohol – Luxembourg benefits from being a tax haven, and thus alcohol, tobacco, and even fuel, are much cheaper than in the surrounding areas – and began planning a beer run at some point…

After Clervaux, we began the journey back home. On the way there, though, we passed what looked like a supermarket, and decided to pop in to see if we could find something for dinner. We actually found an ENORMOUS hypermarket, with an entire downstairs floor devoted to drink. We wandered round for a good 30 minutes or so, picking up a few little bits, before Andy went downstairs to return some bottles. In the Benelux (and Germany) area, there is a scheme whereby you can return your recyclable bottles for cold hard cash. Having not done it myself, I’ll let Msr. Sweeney fill you in…


Not quite cold hard cash, you get a credit note so that you can claim a refund on the bottles you bring in. If you are a drunk, this is good, you can go round collecting bottles, get your credit note and buy some really cheap booze. Luxemburg is one of the cheapest places to kill yourself through alcohol and tobacco addiction (then drink drive because you can do that cheaply as well).

Thanks.

So, we headed back, and settled in for the evening. Dinner was a simple affair of bread, meats and cheese, which, as I remarked at the time, I would never consider a meal, but somehow, while in Europe, this all seems fine. It was the same in Cyprus – a sandwich constituting the main meal of the day. Maybe I should move here, and possibly lose some weight. And I certainly could – so far, I haven’t been anywhere that I couldn’t live. Luxembourg is a wonderful country, and I could so very happily move there, as was Cyprus, as is Belgium. I don’t know if it’s just because we come here and get away from real life or what, but the whole place seems so much more relaxed, the pace of life so much more sedate. It’s certainly a life I could get into.
Same here I think, I’m really starting to love western Germany and Belgium. We are really getting into the swing of the slow and peaceful life. Sean, let me know when you want to move here and we’ll elope.

Oh, and even better, no-one seems fully sure what language to speak. Belgium is torn between French, Dutch, German and Flemish, although you can generally figure out which area you are in fairly easily. Luxembourg, however, was an entirely different matter, with shopkeepers speaking French or German depending who they were talking to. It was brilliant, and gives even a spot of shopping a sense of the exotic. I like that. I like the way that you can swap and change between all the languages and if you can’t remember a word in one language, use another or make something up and make the relevant hand gestures.
Anyhoo, we had a quiet night in front of an open fire, before retiring to bed for a relatively early night, in preparation for Andy’s Big Day…)

Friday 10 October 2008

My Birthday Trip to Belgium - Friday 10th October 2008

And here we go on another road trip of glory. This time we are accompanied by Sean (hello) and Laura, our destination, Vielsalm in the heart of the Ardennes Forest, Belgique.

Laura and I had arrived at the Sweeney’s at around 8:30pm, Thursday evening – this despite leaving Sale, near Manchester, at just before 3 in the afternoon. The excessive delay was mainly due to traffic on the M6, as some considerate soul had decided to hurl himself from a bridge. Thanks, guy. It would probably have been worse had Laura not known about a secret way out of Keele services, which, although not being for official public use, got us moving again. Upon arrival, we were greeted by an excited Mrs Anna (excited mainly because she normally only gets to greet Andy, and we’re infinitely better), who made us tea. This means she wins, in my world. We headed into Hertford to grab some food, got distracted and had a drink, headed to actually get some food, had to wait for my plaice to be cooked, as I refuse to eat cod (go morals!), finally got food, and then went back to the flat, where Andy was waiting for us. After a hearty meal of fish and chips, we got settled and got ourselves some much needed shut-eye, as Friday was going to be an early start…

Our day begins at 05.30 (see? )to the sound of Sean’s alarm, I cant remember what the tune was but it was enough to wake us up in the next room. (My alarm is a soothing Regina Spektor song. I doubt it was that, but Laura’s annoying noise-racket would certainly have done it.)With a groan, Anna and I get up, get some clothes on (its only polite) and got showered (obviously without clothes on). We roused the others and then we packed the car and grabbed some brekkie.

We left the house by about 0615hrs and began our drive. It was a great drive, we got to the M20, driving up and down hills and through the valleys with the sun rising in front of us. It was GLORIOUS! (The roads were unbelievably clear. I wanted to comment on it but thought I’d just jinx us, so didn’t bother. When we got to Tilbury (Dartford), we learnt all about the big gas holder things, or whatever they are, and all the animals that live in them. Anna was worried that one of the Polar Bears had come with us. It hadn’t though. She is clearly a dumb.) What you learned was that there were four gas containers and each one had a different type of animal in them, one had polar bears, the others had Mongooses, Gorillas and Tigers. We worked out that it was a bit like Thunder-dome, two men enter, one man leaves.

We arrived at the shuttle in very good time and boarded on the 0900 shuttle.

I’ll leave Sean to describe the Chunnel trip.

(The annoyingly 9 o’clock-ish Chunnel trip, even though we were there for an earlier one. Grr.)

Anyhoo, having never been on the Chunnel before, I can now officially declare it the single dullest mode of transport ever created. After going through some incredibly lax border controls, (we don’t care if you are leaving the country) you get on a train in your car (which is quite cool, I admit), the doors shut behind you, and then you sit there while a speaker system speaks to you in both English and French. How very continental. Then, as the train begins to move, you look excitedly out of the tiny, and really awkwardly placed, windows, and watch as you go through what looks like an industrial estate, before disappearing into the dark. It is then dark for the next half hour. That’s it. No view, no trolley service, no piped music, no bar, no smoking salon, no escape from the smell of human emissions if you’re by a toilet.

Well, you do have to look at the advantages, its 35 mins, there are no waves, no sea sickness, no kids running round hitting each other and screaming and feeling sick. It is warm and smooth and you get to sit in your car, have a short sleep (not having to worry about being pick pocketed as you sleep in the bar) or grab some grub that you remembered to pack and bring along with you.

Eventually, however, the sunlight breaks through once more, and you emerge into…what looks like another industrial estate. Honestly, for all the money spent on the thing, you would hope that they might have tarted the entrances up a bit. But they haven’t, and so we dutifully waited for the doors to open. Suddenly, and without warning, the cars in front of us began to move, and we emerged from our carrier, blinking in the light of a French morning.


Saying that, you get to drive out of the train (pretty quick really, it is an ordered queue, no one cutting each other up as you all try and leave at once) and once out, you are on the motorway and up to speed in seconds.

On the other side, we went to Auchan, the uber Hypermarket of Glory. After stocking up on goodies, such as SMACK and other cheese based articles we started the drive. (Smack is not a cheese based article. It is a breakfast cereal, and it has been proven that cereal is the only food on earth that does not go with cheese. FACT!

Anyway, Andy seems disinclined to discus the shopping Mecca that is Auchan. Ere, you can buy pretty much anything. Laura and I got ourselves 4GB memory sticks for 9€, and we are already planning our purchases for on the way home. These are guaranteed to include alcohol and interesting meats – I am definitely getting some snails and horse meat. The horse steaks look unbelievably good, and Laura has said she doesn’t want to try them, so I won’t even have to share. Result. I am tempted to get Jamie and Amanda down for dinner and not tell them what the meat is, although Laura thinks Amanda may cry if she knew she’d eaten Shergar. Meat aside, there is a massive selection of goods to buy, and all at relatively low prices – definitely worth a day trip.)

We drove and drove and drove until we reached the Spa Francorchamps race track. Amazingly there were cars going round the track and it looked like a Citroen 2cv racing day. (I was lucky enough to sleep much of the way, as I was tired from all the doing nothing. It’s a hard life being me. Cars racing don’t massively excite me, although they were quite cool screeching round the track. We also saw some mushrooms which proved beyond doubt the existence of gnomes. Look at that picture and call me a liar.)

Upon arrival at Sun Parcs, our home away from home for the weekend, we went to reception to book in and get our keys. We then went up to our little house to unpack.

The houses are all very similar. The one we had was classified as a cottage, not much in it between them all really. It has a large living and dining space downstairs with a toilet and bathroom. Upstairs it has two double bedrooms.
Things to remember for the future:

1. bring tea mugs, they only have small espresso coffee cups.
2. bring a kettle, no kettle, no tea,
3. bring towels and bedding, we have sleeping bags but would be nice to have sheets.
4. Tea towels and washing up liquid are not provided.
5. To ensure that you don’t sleep in a position where your knee will knock against the ridiculously placed and ridiculously easy to switch on, light switch three times in the night, waking you up.

Sean, Anna and I went for a trip to the pool down the road. I’ve been here so many times now I kinda take most of this stuff for granted, so once again, I’ll let Sean describe the pool and the fun we had there.

(You cannot swim in the pool. It is too shallow and neither the right shape nor boringness to allow for swimming. This is due mainly to the fact that it is chock-full of fun things, up to and including three slides! (one massive twisty one, one tiny baby one, and one where they spray water at your back as you go down a slope) A wave pool! A Magic River! (a circular pool with a strong current running around the outside that just pushes you round without your doing anything) An outdoor section! A Jacuzzi! And much, much more!

We dossed about for about an hour, just playing like kids. There was a disturbing incident when we sat in the Jacuzzi, however. When we tree climbed in, there were three girls of around 15 in there, chatting away in some form of foreign and we sat quietly at the other end. Then a man came to join us who, and this is the disturbing part, had nipples that were about an inch long. Seriously, they were longer than any man’s nipples should ever be. We scarpered fairly shortly afterwards, and continued our fun-time.

Fun-time almost came to an abrupt end after we had left the pool, however, when Andy almost killed himself slipping on the wet floor. Sadly, he stayed on his feet, and hilarity was averted.)


After about an hour, we came back to the house, collected Laura and we drove to Prüm, a lovely town in Germany. We went there last Christmas with Chris and Faith and we went back to the same restaurant.

Now I have to say, as little places to eat go, we can really pick them. This place is fantastic. It mainly sells meat in various forms, with loads of veg and in a really tasty way. I’ll let Anna describe the food as she is my resident expert! The restaurant was called the Posthotel.

NYOM NYOM NYOM

Not as descriptive as i would have hoped but accurate! Snitzel and Steak, was yummy indeed.