Koln - Saturday 12th July 2008

Köln, or Cologne as we brits spell it, is to the south west of Dortmund and was our days adventure. When I say Day, I really mean day, we aimed to get into Köln at about noon so we thought, we’ll get up and about for 9, grab some lunch at the Backeri downstairs then be off. Due to our own German style efficiency, we were all in the bakery and eating our various pastries in no time.

We saw a tramp, he had his willy out. Chris and I were transfixed so told the girls not to look, under any circumstances,.. it was really not nice but I wont go into any more detail for fear of hurting Sean’s delicate mental state.
After food, we headed out in the car onto the Autobahns and drove to Köln. I have to say at this point, the roads were clear except for a few German BMW and Merc drivers trying to set a new land speed record.
It was a perfect day, open roads, clear skies, warm weather, could not really be a better day for it.
The journey took us no time at all really. Chris managed to get some more sleep and missed the beautiful Ruhr and the entrance to Koln over the Rhine.
We parked in the Altestadt (old town) near to the cathedral and the riverfront.
There were a couple of objectives for the day, Meet “Swiss Joinee Carla” and see the Kölner Lichter (lights of Köln).
Arriving just in time for lunch we were surprised that there was very little traffic, pedestrian and auto. It was nice. We wandered over to our first stop of the day.

Köln, used to be a Roman city and dates back to 38BC. It would not be a Sweeney family holiday without seeing some ruins – so we did!
The Roman Praetorium is next to the town hall, and underground. The Praetorium would have been the ‘Governor’s Palace’. Excavated in the 50s, it was covered over to make way for buildings. They did however make it accessible via a large underground cavern. As with the Cyprus blog, ruins are ruins, but this was different. Because it was underground and very well lit, it added to the mystery. All that are really recognisable of the old building are the foundations and lower parts of the walls.
There was also a Roman Sewer tunnel (it didn’t smell anymore!) that ran off the complex that could be walked along. This at the time would have been used to carry away waste from the palace towards the river and also would be a secluded place for shady dealing and murders. In later life, during World War 2, the tunnels were used as a bomb shelter to protect some of the locals from allied attack. Shhhh! Don’t mention the war!

Leaving the Praetorium behind we continued on over to the Cathedral. This GIANT cathedral was built between 1248 and 1880 and it is just HUGE, I can not emphasise how big that bastard actually is. It is so big in fact that since 1880 (when they started renovation work) it is still going on. There is a running joke with the locals that when the work finishes, the end of the world will be upon us.
The Gothic Cathedral is 157m tall, and up until the Washington monument, then the Eiffel tower, was the tallest building in the world.
It was filled with milling thoughtless, bumbling tourists that wandered around aimlessly without objective. We went inside and soon left as my rage levels grew. It’s big inside, real big, just like the outside.

Next, a bit of shopping, a trip to the Lego shop and off for lunch in Heumarkt, near to the Rhine. I had a giant Calzone, Anna had Schnitzel and the kids had pizzas. Was nice, the sun came out and we steadily baked in the sunshine.

After grub, the heavens opened and we met with Carla next to one of the riverboats. After a bit of searching we went to a Löwenbrow pub for some coffee, beer, tea and apfel strudel.

Time was killed for a substantial amount of time (about 6 or 7 hours) by sitting around on the grass, sleeping and eating bratwurst and Nutella crepes.

The crowds started descending on the riverfront and soon there was no space at all. The chilled out waiting turned into stressful packed in standing waiting for a couple more hours until the sun set behind us, spilling golden light over Rhine to the bank opposite.

Amplified Schlager music was being played from a concert on the opposite bank, I used to find this very painful to listen to when I was younger but it kinda fitted the situation.

At about 2230 all the lights went out from the banks and the show began, close to 50 ships must have gone by north on the Rhine. Each one displaying strings of the lights down their lengths and atop their masts. They played loud haunting music and most of the people on the riverbanks, thousands of them, lit sparklers as they passed. It was REALLY good.

After the boats passed, they re-positioned themselves and allowed a huge coal barge pass between them into the river in front of us. This barge, usually a cargo barge, was carrying a special load this evening. At 2330hrs the fireworks began. 30 minutes of explosions from the barge and the railway bridge. It was by far the biggest one I have ever seen. (Fireworks display, not bridge).

At midnight, after the festivities had concluded, everyone tried to leave all at once. We managed to get to our car unharmed and began the 1 hour trip out of town, then the trip back to Dortmund.

We were all VERY tired and achy and bed was welcomed. I think next year, different tactics need to be employed.

Dortmund - Friday 11th July 2008

Right, 6am, a good healthy start to the day, well, for real people who are able to get up in the morning,… well, me. The sun was out, shining brightly and a great day was waiting, just in front of us. We were off to DORTMUND for a long weekend break.
My alarm woke me with a start and the first thing I thought as I woke up was “AHH CRAP, I’VE ONLY HAD 5 HOURS SLEEP!” I nudged Anna (NEVER a good thing) but it had to be done as we would never have got going! I left the bedroom making sure I at least had some shorts on for in the living-room- our travelling companions awaited us. By waiting, I don’t mean they were doing it awake, Faith was awake, just,… I think that the thin curtains and the bright sunshine might have destroyed any chance of her getting any decent sleep from about 4am onwards…. Chris on the other-hand was totally sparko.

I grabbed a quick shower and by the time I was out, Anna was up and dressed,… I was shocked, well, pleasantly surprised! Chris was still out for the count.
Anna and Faith both had turns in the bathroom,…. And after about 30 minutes, Chris was still asleep.
A vigorous shaking was in order and in minutes he was in the shower and getting ready. He took forever though – worse than both us girls!
After a quick round of toast and some last minute emailing we packed the car and were on our way!

Traffic was fairly heavy, leaving at about 0710 is generally not a good plan, we might have to make it a little earlier next time.

We got to the shuttle terminal in just over an hour. Chris and Faith slept most of the way… this was the start of a general theme for Chris’s weekend

The thirty minutes on the shuttle was passed by eating bite sized scotch eggs and wiener sausages that we had pre packed (from M&S don’t you know!) This was a handy breakfast as we had pretty much no time in the Terminal to score some cheap foods for brekkie.
There was a really cute small child that touched Anna up and almost damaged his face on my car, but ill let Anna tell you about that later.

Ah yes the child! He was really lovely, all ears and face and stuff. He’d spent quite a lot of the journey waving to us whilst “driving” and then on one of his little walks about the train, he missed the edge of the walkway and smacked face first into the back of the car. Thankfully he just looked a little confused and got straight back up and carried on. On his way back I was leaning against the car and made sure I pressed up to the car out of his way at which point he decided to pat me on the bum, much in the way you would pat someone on the back! It was cute and I thought he was funny :)

Unloading of the shuttle took very little time and we were soon cruising along the roads around CALAIS. We had to make a short stop off at Auchan to fuel and then we headed out onto the open road.

Our route saw us drive out of CALAIS on the northern roads to the west, on the motorway, through France and into Belgium. It always makes me laugh. The road goes from shiny blacktop to rough and bumpy concrete. The streetlamps vanish and the road markings fade. For the trip to GENT, then on to ANTWERP, round the ring-road and out the other side, nothing much happened. It was the same from Antwerp to the border of the Netherlands where the sexy smooth blacktop returned and the roads became quieter. We made a quick stop for a leg stretch and some food at a picnic site and chowed down on some rolls and potato salad.
The rest of the journey was uneventful, Anna found some cool place names that we passed and the usual game of I SPY was won I think by her as well. Wankum, Wickede and Asseln. Some of the best names we’ve seen on signs so far. Not forgetting Koksijde and Dijksmuide (the “j” is silent in both. Snigger). Already looking forward to going to Titisee in May next year!

I was getting really tired by the time we hit Germany and DUISBURG. I checked the Satnav and it said that there was only about 50 miles to go so I stuck it out and we arrived at our first destination at about 1600 local time.

TRINKGUT is by far the greatest and best shop in the whole of Europe. It is floor to ceiling with beer, wine and other beverages and snacks. If you own a bar, or just like to drink, this is the place to be.
I bought a crate of 24 BITBURGER Alcohol Free beers for about 12 Euros and some more local beer for about 7 Euros for 25 1/2L Bottles. They also had three varieties of the peanut crisps that I have a severe addiction to. I restricted my self to just 2 bags, and as we speak I even have half a bag left! Go me! Faith has also been introduced to their wonderment and even Chris liked them. Andy is still rubbish and doesn’t eat them. More for me!
I love Germany, if you take back your empties, they give you a rebate voucher for the crate and bottles, knocking 3 Euros of you price, EVEN BETTER!

Once this was all packed away, we slowly made our way through the traffic to our home for the next two nights.
The City Centre MERCURE HOTEL is pretty much like most other basic hotels. The room is a good size for the two of us and has all the usual expensive drinks and sweets in the mini-bar. And not forgetting the contact card for “Club Amore” – they provide home visits, hotel visits or escort services! Bunch of mingers in the pictures though…

We are out tonight for dinner so will report in later!

That was a lovely night! We had a wander round DORTMUND, which is pretty much a generic German shopping town. It has all of the post war style concrete developments and the shops are similar to those all over Germany. They have Kaufhof, H&M and C&A. All good though, we saw some lovely churches and at the moment they have winged rhinoceros scattered round the city that look like they have been paid for and pained by local businesses. I think they’re related to the Superlambanana from Liverpool.

Dinner was at a restaurant called “Der Thuringer” near to the Hansaplatz. It was definitely ‘SnitzelUhr’ so we all had supersexy meat that was beaten to within an inch of its structural integrity before being covered in breadcrumbs,…. OM, NYOM, NYOM. Salad was a bit weird though, the carrots were cooked and in orange juice, there was an onion and celery soup which smelt like feet. Garlicky mushrooms were yummy, so that helped.

After grub, back to the room for munchies and some German TV.

Night all.