Koln - Saturday 12th July 2008

Köln, or Cologne as we brits spell it, is to the south west of Dortmund and was our days adventure. When I say Day, I really mean day, we aimed to get into Köln at about noon so we thought, we’ll get up and about for 9, grab some lunch at the Backeri downstairs then be off. Due to our own German style efficiency, we were all in the bakery and eating our various pastries in no time.

We saw a tramp, he had his willy out. Chris and I were transfixed so told the girls not to look, under any circumstances,.. it was really not nice but I wont go into any more detail for fear of hurting Sean’s delicate mental state.
After food, we headed out in the car onto the Autobahns and drove to Köln. I have to say at this point, the roads were clear except for a few German BMW and Merc drivers trying to set a new land speed record.
It was a perfect day, open roads, clear skies, warm weather, could not really be a better day for it.
The journey took us no time at all really. Chris managed to get some more sleep and missed the beautiful Ruhr and the entrance to Koln over the Rhine.
We parked in the Altestadt (old town) near to the cathedral and the riverfront.
There were a couple of objectives for the day, Meet “Swiss Joinee Carla” and see the Kölner Lichter (lights of Köln).
Arriving just in time for lunch we were surprised that there was very little traffic, pedestrian and auto. It was nice. We wandered over to our first stop of the day.

Köln, used to be a Roman city and dates back to 38BC. It would not be a Sweeney family holiday without seeing some ruins – so we did!
The Roman Praetorium is next to the town hall, and underground. The Praetorium would have been the ‘Governor’s Palace’. Excavated in the 50s, it was covered over to make way for buildings. They did however make it accessible via a large underground cavern. As with the Cyprus blog, ruins are ruins, but this was different. Because it was underground and very well lit, it added to the mystery. All that are really recognisable of the old building are the foundations and lower parts of the walls.
There was also a Roman Sewer tunnel (it didn’t smell anymore!) that ran off the complex that could be walked along. This at the time would have been used to carry away waste from the palace towards the river and also would be a secluded place for shady dealing and murders. In later life, during World War 2, the tunnels were used as a bomb shelter to protect some of the locals from allied attack. Shhhh! Don’t mention the war!

Leaving the Praetorium behind we continued on over to the Cathedral. This GIANT cathedral was built between 1248 and 1880 and it is just HUGE, I can not emphasise how big that bastard actually is. It is so big in fact that since 1880 (when they started renovation work) it is still going on. There is a running joke with the locals that when the work finishes, the end of the world will be upon us.
The Gothic Cathedral is 157m tall, and up until the Washington monument, then the Eiffel tower, was the tallest building in the world.
It was filled with milling thoughtless, bumbling tourists that wandered around aimlessly without objective. We went inside and soon left as my rage levels grew. It’s big inside, real big, just like the outside.

Next, a bit of shopping, a trip to the Lego shop and off for lunch in Heumarkt, near to the Rhine. I had a giant Calzone, Anna had Schnitzel and the kids had pizzas. Was nice, the sun came out and we steadily baked in the sunshine.

After grub, the heavens opened and we met with Carla next to one of the riverboats. After a bit of searching we went to a Löwenbrow pub for some coffee, beer, tea and apfel strudel.

Time was killed for a substantial amount of time (about 6 or 7 hours) by sitting around on the grass, sleeping and eating bratwurst and Nutella crepes.

The crowds started descending on the riverfront and soon there was no space at all. The chilled out waiting turned into stressful packed in standing waiting for a couple more hours until the sun set behind us, spilling golden light over Rhine to the bank opposite.

Amplified Schlager music was being played from a concert on the opposite bank, I used to find this very painful to listen to when I was younger but it kinda fitted the situation.

At about 2230 all the lights went out from the banks and the show began, close to 50 ships must have gone by north on the Rhine. Each one displaying strings of the lights down their lengths and atop their masts. They played loud haunting music and most of the people on the riverbanks, thousands of them, lit sparklers as they passed. It was REALLY good.

After the boats passed, they re-positioned themselves and allowed a huge coal barge pass between them into the river in front of us. This barge, usually a cargo barge, was carrying a special load this evening. At 2330hrs the fireworks began. 30 minutes of explosions from the barge and the railway bridge. It was by far the biggest one I have ever seen. (Fireworks display, not bridge).

At midnight, after the festivities had concluded, everyone tried to leave all at once. We managed to get to our car unharmed and began the 1 hour trip out of town, then the trip back to Dortmund.

We were all VERY tired and achy and bed was welcomed. I think next year, different tactics need to be employed.